A Girl Has Got to Eat
by Clarks Blue Eyed Angel
Summary: Clark and Chloe discuss their positions on a racy political issue. Rating because the topic might not be suitable for the kiddies. I don't think it's bad, but just to be safe.


This is my first fanfic in like, years. It's just a short little Chlark fluff. Feedback is welcome and appreciated, but if you don't like Chlark, just don't read it, and please don't send me "Chlark sux" reviews. There are other stories for you, go read those. I just want to say that this is dedicated to Ferd for writing such great Chlark fanfic and motivating me to get up off my butt and start writing again, and to Sierra for being with me on the whole Chlark rules campaign. You guys rock! Now, I hope you enjoy!

Disclaimer: I don't own anything. Please don't sue.You'll be wasting time and money in court.

A Girl Has Got to Eat

Clark Kent paced around the Torch. In the back of his mind he had a lingering worry that if he didn't cut it out, his super pacing was literally going to wear a hole in the floor. He checked his watch again. Quarter past four. Chloe was supposed to meet him here at three to work on his article, and so far she was nowhere to be found. Of course, Clark himself had shown up forty-five minutes late, as per usual. He had a thought that Chloe might have gotten pissed off waiting for him, and left to go do something else. He knew she'd be back eventually, Chloe was always in the Torch late on Wednesday nights, because the paper had to be put to bed by Thursday night. He didn't bother calling Chloe, because he knew if she had gotten mad about his tardiness, calling to whine to her because he had to wait would only further enrage her. It was best to sit patiently and wait until she came back. Or pace, whatever.

At 4:24 the door swung open and in walked Chloe, looking very much like the personification of venomous wrath. Clark winced and braced himself for the oncoming fury. He expected Chloe to yell at him for his tardiness, and his inability to be counted on for anything. Instead, she flung her purse down on the desk and plopped down in her chair, letting out a long, weary sigh.

"You know, people in this country preach about the freedom of speech, blah blah, constitutional rights, blah blah, but it's all a total and complete crock of shit."

Clark flinched at her choice of words. He wasn't sure if he should try to engage with her, or if it would be better for him to back away slowly and make his way for the door. He might be six-foot-four and totally invulnerable, but somehow the five-foot-five blonde managed to put the fear of God in him, especially when she was on the warpath like this. After weighing his options, he finally decided to take it like a man.

"What's up, Chlo? Where've ya been?"

Chloe looked at him and rolled her eyes, then leaned back in the chair and propped her boot-clad feet up on the desk.

"Detention."

Clark's eyes got wide. He stared at her open-mouthed for a few seconds before finding his voice.

"Detention? What did you do to land you in detention?"

"That's just it! I didn't do anything, except what I was supposed to, and for doing that I get rewarded with a wasted afternoon in freaking detention. I'm going to do an article for the Torch about the injustice of it all."

Clark stared at her, more baffled than before.

"Chloe, what are you talking about?"

Chloe sighed again, and stretched. She truly had the look of one who had been imprisoned for a while, and had just now found freedom again.

"Mr. Autry gave us this assignment. We had to pick an issue that we are either strongly for or strongly against, and then write a persuasive essay about it. So that's exactly what I did. Only today when I had to read my essay out loud to the class, he said that it was inappropriate for a high school assignment. And then he accused me of deliberately writing about said inappropriate topic just to get a laugh from the class. The old bastard sentenced me to detention every afternoon for the rest of the week."

Clark took a deep breath and sat down on the edge of the desk, resting his hand on Chloe's foot. He could only imagine what Chloe, Queen of All Things Brazen, had written about to merit such a fate as half a week's worth of detentions.

"OK, Chlo, what did you write about? Why meteor rock possession should be illegal in fifty states? Why Anna Nicole Smith should be deported? What?" He picked up the Mountain Dew he had brought with him earlier and took a sip, awaiting her response with a smirk.

"I wrote about why prostitution should be legalized in the states. "

Clark sputtered, spewing Mountain Dew down his chin. For the first time since she'd walk into the Torch, Chloe grinned.

"Chloe!"

"What? It's an issue, and I took a valid stance. My essay was cleanly written, there were no swear words or inappropriate slang, I didn't mention the words "whore" or "gang-bang" once. There was no justification in me being punished for that. It was a good paper and it met the assignment requirements."

"Chloe, you can't be serious! You think prostitution should be legal?" Chloe didn't even pause to answer.

"Yes, of course I do."

"But... but... it's wrong!"

"What's wrong about it? It's only "wrong" because it's illegal."

"Chloe, it's... it's...," he trailed off, at a complete loss for words.

"You see? You can't think of a single reason why it's so wrong. That just proves my point. Clark, sex between two consenting adults is their business, and only their business. It's not right for the government to tell someone that they can't exchange sexual favors for money if they want. That would be like a cop busting down your bedroom door and telling you that you're under arrest because you were having sex in an illegal position. And by the way, did you know that in South Carolina, it's illegal to have sex in any position other than missionary? And both oral and anal sex are illegal?" Chloe smiled. Clark was blushing. He was obviously uncomfortable with this topic. Chloe loved to make Clark blush. Clark was damn sexy when he blushed.

"C-Chloe, that can't be true. There is no way that South Carolina has a law like that. It'd never hold up in court."

"Well, it's an old law, Clark, from back in the day. Of course it doesn't really apply now, but it's never officially been removed from the books. There are similar laws in other states. The point is, laws like that, telling a person what they can and can't do sexually, are completely outdated. Obviously the "One Position" law is laughed at now, so why are prostitution laws still in effect?"

Clark scoffed , tugging on Chloe's boot lace.

"Chloe, what a couple chooses to do in the privacy of their own home is their business, that's true, but prostitution is morally wrong, and it's degrading." He smirked, thinking that he had one-uped Chloe. He should have known better.

"Clark, a lot of people say that stripping is morally wrong and degrading, but it's totally legal. So why isn't prostitution? It's a total violation of a person's rights. And just because something is degrading to a person, if they don't consider it to be such, then it still doesn't make any sense for it to be illegal." Chloe crossed her arms and waited for Clark to come up with something better. He seemed to be thinking hard, so she decided to move on to her next point. "And furthermore, Clark, it's completely unfair to prosecute some women for something that others do on a daily basis with no repercussions ." Clark finally responded.

"What? Chloe, what do you mean?"

"Look at it this way, Clark. If I date a very rich man who I don't have any real feelings for...ok, let's pretend it's Lex. If I date Lex, but I'm not in love with him"

"LEX! Why would you be dating Lex?"

Chloe was a little taken aback by his tone of voice. What was that? Jealousy? No, it couldn't be, he probably just couldn't imagine what Lex would be doing with Second Place Chloe, especially when The Artist Formally Known as Pink Princess But Now Know as the Black Widow was in the near vicinity. Chloe frowned.

"It's a hypothetical relationship, Clark. Don't get your nuts in a knot." There was that blush again. Chloe's frown was replaced with a smirk. "Now, say I'm dating Lex, I have no feelings for him at all, but I'm dating him and having sex with him just because he buys me pretty things, or gives me money to go shopping, whatever. Now, there are women out there who do that. And it may be frowned upon, but it's not illegal. And really, it's the same thing as prostitution. So again I ask you, why is prostitution illegal?"

Clark looked incredulous. He sputtered and ran his hands through his hair, then he looked as if he had had an epiphany.

"Diseases! Prostitution spreads tons of sexually transmitted diseases. By making it illegal, we can cut back on that." This time Clark folded his arms, still keeping his elbow propped up on Chloe's feet, and grinned triumphantly. Chloe, however, wasn't worried. She had counted on him taking this road.

"Clark, people all over the world, very, very stupid people, engage in unsafe sex everyday. Diseases are spread regardless of whether or not someone is charging for the act of sex. What about all those one night stands people have? You can't outlaw those. And you can't tell someone that they can't have more than one sexual partner. Or more than a hundred, for that matter. And if prostitution was legalized, it could be run like a real business and the... employees... could be required to take blood tests to make sure they weren't carrying anything. Hell, even the clients could be required to take them. And it would be more professional, and safer. It's already legal in a few states, and it works fine. Making prostitution illegal is what causes the problems. If people want to do something, they'll still do it, but trying to stop them only makes them have to hide and increases their risk. It's like parents trying to keep their kids from having sex, and throwing a fit when Sex Ed is taught in school. If those kids really want it bad enough, they're gonna do it anyway. Isn't it better for the parents to prepare them, and make sure they know the risks and how to be safe about it? And if prostitutes didn't have to hide in some back alley, there probably wouldn't be so many cases of them getting beaten or murdered by Johns."

Clark opened his mouth wide, and for a second Chloe thought he was really going to offer up another rebuttal. Instead, he seemed to deflate, and he slowly closed his mouth.

"Ok Chloe, I guess those are all valid points. I'm still not sure I agree with it, but... you've opened my eyes to some things that I wasn't considering before." Clark lowered his head, defeated, and waited for Chloe to gloat. Instead, she nudged him with her boot and smiled. Then she leaned forward and gave him a quick kiss on the cheek. He blushed for the hundredth time, and stared at her.

"What was that for?"

"For giving me someone to spar with, and for always brightening my day." Chloe grinned her famous grin, all teeth and squinty eyes, and Clark lowered his eyes, and turned a brilliant shade of crimson. A smile crept up slowly but surely, and he brought his eyes up to meet hers.

"Back at you, Chlo. You know I could never do it with anyone but you." Chloe smiled.

"And I promise I won't even charge you." She winked at him and grabbed her bag, heading for the door. Clark's eyes bugged out as he realized the full implication of what she had said. Chloe glanced back over her shoulder. It was priceless. Clark looked like a fish, his mouth opening and closing repeatedly. She snickered. "Come on, Clark, a girl's gotta eat. We can work on the Torch later tonight. I'll consider your finished article payment in full." With that Chloe bounced out the door. Clark stared after her, then shook his head. He spoke out loud just to shake himself from his state of shock. "This girl is gonna get me into trouble one day, just wait and see." Then he hopped up off the desk and followed Chloe out the door. And as Chloe started singing Nicole Kidman's part from the Elephant Love Medley of Moulin Rouge, Clark joined in on Ewan McGregor's line.

"A girl has got to eat."

"All you need is love..."

"She'll end up on the street!"

"All you need is loooove!"

"Love is just a game..."

"I was made for lovin' you baby, you were made for lovin' me!"

"The only way of lovin' me baby is to pay a lovely fee!"

"You know Chloe, Nicole died of Syphilis at the end of that movie."

"Nuh-uh, Tuberculosis."

"I just can't win with you, can I?"

"Keep trying, you might get lucky." Chloe linked her arm through Clark's and the two of them happily bounded away together.


End file.
